View source for New drugs from Pfizer

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Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2000
From: Jack Shea / jshumor@BERK.COM
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With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society
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<b>DIRECTRA </b>- a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
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<b>PROJECTRA </b>- Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
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<b>CHILDAGRA </b>- Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over- whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."
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<b>COMPLIMENTRA </b>- In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
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<b>BUYAGRA </b>- Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.
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<b>NEGA-VIAGRA </b>- Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
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<b>NEGA-SPORTAGRA </b>- This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
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<b>FLATULAGRA </b>- This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
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<b>FLYAGRA </b>- This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Expecially useful for men on Viagra.
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<b>PRYAGRA </b>- About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people.<br>Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors."
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<b>LIAGRA </b>- This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

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